Detective Garfield and the Case of the O'Tabby Murder
by Ellis97
Summary: Sam Spayed is a private eye detective who happens to be a tabby cat. When Sam is called on his biggest case yet, he must search all over the city to find out who murdered Professor O'Tabby. Meanwhile in US Acres, Orson is preparing his campaign against Lord Jefferson, but it's going to be much harder than he thought.
1. A Time for Murder

**Author's Note:**

 **Welcome to a brand new episode of Garfield! However, this time we take a little trip to the fantasy world of our favorite fat feline! What could he be playing in this fantasy? Well let's see.**

 **Now for a very special theme song. Feel free to sing along if you know the words.**

 **My life's full of babes and bullets.**

 **No time to lay back and cool it.**

 **I've got clues and claws, right here in my paws. Nothing to do but do it.**

 **Claws and clues are my meat.**

 **I paid my dues on the street.**

 **A life full of babes and bullets!**

 **It's a living...that's why I do it.**

 **Now without further ado, on with the show!**

* * *

The name is Spayed. Sam Spayed, private eye detective, who also happens

San Francisco is a beautiful city. Cable cars, fog rolling off the bay, Chinatown, the Golden Gate Bridge, the Warf...man I wish I lived there. Dust had to be an inch deep on my desk, a thick layer of papers was forming around the base of the trash, an empty milk bottle where I had a business engagement the night before.

"Coffee, Sam?" asked a woman from the distance.

"Sure" said our narrator.

Kitty wasn't much on cleaning, but could make a mean cup of coffee. I still remember the day she came in looking for work. She wanted to be a secretary, she had all the requirements, so I gave her the job.

Being a private dick ain't easy with a name like Sam Spayed, but I got all the requirements I need; I like babes and bullets, plus I look good in a trench coat.

"More coffee, Sam?" asked Kitty.

"Nah" said Sam "I've had enough for one day"

It was a slow day, the hours seemed to go by like a New York Giants vs. Brooklyn Dodgers game during a double header. I decided to get a phone and as soon as I was about to step out the door, I saw one of the most beautiful creatures in the city. A human female.

"Are you Spayed?" asked the woman.

I never know how to answer that question.

"Who wants to know? And what's your reason for being here and why me?" Sam asked the woman "There are hundreds of private eyes out there"

"My name is Tanya O'Tabby" said the woman "My husband was murdered"

Judging by her youth and beauty and the way she was dressed, she was obviously tapping some big bucks. Of course! It all makes sense now! She marries an old geezer, kills him, inherits all the dough, sends a second rate detective on a wild goose chase and ends up scot free.

"So how old was your husband, Tanya?" Sam asked Tanya.

"Twenty three" Tanya answered him.

Of course! Now it all makes sense. Her husband obviously was a regular Don Juan, so she finds out he's having an affair, kills him, sends a second rate detective on a wild goose chase and gets off scot free.

"So, what did your husband do for a living, Mrs. O'Tabby?" Sam asked.

"He at St. Morris University" said Tanya "He was head of the history department"

Something wasn't right here.

"Doesn't sound like the kind of place where enemies can be made" said Sam "It's pretty tame profession, doll"

"We all have enemies don't we Mr. Spayed?" Tanya asked Sam.

"Call me 'Sam' please" Sam insisted "What makes you think your husband was murdered?"

"He drove off Old Mountain Road, Sam please" said Tanya "That's forty miles away. He had no reason to be there. Besides, he was an excellent driver. The police say that he probably fell asleep at the wheel, but I just can't believe that"

Her lips started to tremble, I took her hands in mine.

"Go home, kid" Sam told her "I've got an investigation to uncover"

I watched Tanya as she walked into the dark street lamps as the street lamps illuminated. I knew I had to crack this case. After all, I am behind my rent at the Y.

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

 **Looks like Sam Spayed is on a big case. Don't you just love detective stories? Just makes you miss the good old days of Shaft, Humphrey Bogart, Charlie Chan and Inspector Clouseau. Who could've murdered Professor O'Tabby? It's up to Sam to crack the code before this killer ends up Scot-free.**

 **But for now, let's get over down to US Acres and see how Orson's campaign against Lord Jefferson is going.**


	2. Orson's Campaign

**PREVIOUSLY ON US ACRES...**

 **As you may remember from our last story, Orson had rescued a charming, wise old Collie named Lord Jefferson from a cavern in the woods outside of the barnyard and took him in. However, Lord Jefferson kept stealing Orson's thunder, so they challenged each other to an election for leader of the barnyard. However, if Orson lost, he'd have to leave the farm forever. Now, he must save his leadership and beat Lord Jefferson or he'd probably never see his friends again.**

* * *

Inside the barn, Orson was busy pondering on what to do for his campaign. Roy, Wade, Booker, Sheldon, Roy, Bo and Lanolin were impatient and wanted to hear what Orson was planning.

"Come on Orson" said Wade "Please tell me you have a plan"

"Even better, Wade" Orson said as he snapped his fingers "I have three plans!"

"That's a fact worth knowing" Lanolin said as she folded her arms.

"Booker! Sheldon! I need you guys to make campaign posters to show how respectful I am to the little guy" Orson pointed to the chicks.

"You got it, Pop!" Booker saluted.

"You can count on us, dad" said Sheldon.

"Come on Sheldon, let's get our glitter, glue and markers" said Booker.

Booker and Sheldon ran to get markers and paper to make posters for their father.

"Two! Bo, I'll need you to be my pollster" Orson said as he pointed to Bo.

"No problem, buddy" Bo smiled.

"And Wade is going to be my campaign manager" Orson pointed to Wade.

"Campaign manager?" Wade asked fearfully "Wh-what is that? I hope it's not something scary"

"A campaign manager is someone who thinks of idea for someone's campaign" Orson explained "You're going to suggest something for me"

"Sounds easy" said Wade "Might I suggest you make a speech to all the animals in an hour to tell people why they should vote for you?"

"That's a great idea Wade" said Orson "And finally...Lanolin and Roy! I have the most important job for you two!"

"Most important job?" Roy gasped "For me? Oh boy! What is it?"

"Yeah, and why do I have to work with buzzard beak here?" Lanolin asked Orson.

"I'm right here you know" Roy remarked.

"Guys listen, this is a very important job, so you two will have to work together on this one" said Orson.

"Fine" Roy and Lanolin sighed "We'll work together"

"Now shake it on it" Orson sternly said.

Reluctantly, Roy and Lanolin shook hands in annoyance.

"Okay now here's the thing" Orson explained to them "You guys are going to dig up dirt on Lord Jefferson to ruin his reputation, so everyone will hate him and vote for me"

"I love this plan already" Roy said as he rubbed his hands "Ooh hoo hoo!"

"Go to Roger for info" said Orson "He's the oldest animal in the barnyard, so he might know something about Jefferson"

"Got it" Lanolin and Roy said as they ran to find Roger.

One hour later, Orson went to the field to make his campaign speeches.

"And now, here's your current leader and candidate, Orson the Pig" Wade announced.

The audience all cheered as Orson came onstage.

"Attention my fellow animals of US Acres" he said through the microphone "I am Orson!"

"Orson, I have a question for you" said Wade "Is the barnyard a better place with you in charge?"

"Yes, I believe it is" said Orson "We've harvested the crops and kept the farm in tip top shape, and the farmer has been able to provide for us and his wife because of me"

The audience cheered.

"And what will you if elected?" Wade asked Orson.

"I will continue to help my fellow animals and keep this barnyard in short order" Orson proclaimed.

The audience cheered and then, they turned around to Lord Jefferson who was about to make an announcement.

"I'm just an old fashioned dog" he said "I've got a homey accent and this rocking chair. But my opponent is one of those fancy types, like he had some fancy book learning and he doesn't own a rocking chair. But don't take my word for it..."

"He says mean things about other animals behind their backs" said a goat, reading a card.

"He abandoned all of his children" a cow said with some piglets holding onto his legs.

"What?" Orson gasped "That's not true! I haven't even found a mate yet"

"Are these paid actors? Are there stories true? Who knows? But imagine if they were, which they are" said Lord Jefferson "So vote for me, Lord Jefferson, a dog who will do away with all the hoodlums under my power. And remember; Orson is a child abandoning, book smart, rocking chair-less slime ball. Paid for by the committee to crush Orson like the low life scumbag he is"

"That's not true!" Orson protested "I'm not a child abandoner and I'm not a slime ball! Lord Jefferson is the slime ball and I'll prove it"

"I've got an idea Orson" Wade whispered to Orson "Why don't you challenge him to a debate?"

"That's a great idea, Wade" Orson whispered to Wade, then turned to Lord Jefferson "Lord Jefferson! I challenge you to a debate tonight at the crack of sundown"

"Challenge accepted" Jefferson smirked.

Meanwhile, Lanolin and Roy had finally found Roger. Unfortunately, he was preparing to leave the barnyard. The duo kept trying to get him to talk, but he wouldn't tell them anything.

"Come on Roger, you've gotta know something about Lord Jefferson" Roy told him.

"Yeah, nobody knows this barnyard like you do" Lanolin added.

"Look, I don't have time to talk to you guys" Roger said in a gruff manner "I'm trying to get away from this barnyard as far as possible"

Lanolin then grabbed him by the horns and made a menacing stare.

"Unless you want my partner to get all crazy on you, tell us what you know" said Roy.

"Go ahead, beat me up" Roger boldly said "I"m more scared of Jefferson than I am of you!"

"Huh?" Lanolin and Roy each raised an eyebrow "What?"

"He was in that cave for a reason" Roger said with fear "I've gotta get outta here!"

Roger then let himself out of Lanolin's arms and ran off into the woods, like his life was depending on it.

"The cave?" Roy asked Lanolin "Maybe there was something in that cave we missed"

"Great" Lanolin said sarcastically "Now I've gotta walk in those dark, wet caverns again"

"Roger said that he was in the cave for a reason" Roy said "So, we'd better go back into that cave and see what we missed"

Lanolin hated to think Roy was right, but Roy was right. After all, they did promise Orson they'd help him keep his leadership. They all headed to the cave to see what they might have missed. Orson was depending on them.

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

 **Looks like Orson's campaign isn't going as well as planned. He's going to need to find a way to get elected. But what could help him? Everybody's loving Lord Jefferson!**


	3. Essentially Mysterious Suspects

Why someone would murder a 23 year old professor was beyond me. Maybe he delivered one too many lectures on the Boxer Rebellion. Stranger things have happened in this town.

My first stop was at the City Morgue. It was 11 AM. Walking up to the building, I saw my old adversary; it was Lt. Washington.

"Spayed" Washington said as he saw Sam "What brings you here? Trying to find a client"

"Sure lieutenant" Sam said sarcastically "He's the one your blue boy shot in the back for jaywalking"

"Watch it, Spayed" said Washington "I still have your license under investigation"

"At least I know it's still safe for a while" said Sam.

"Spayed, don't push me" Washington said as he walked away.

"Wouldn't dream of it, lieutenant, have a nice day" Sam said as he walked into the building.

The lieuenent was still saying goodbyes as I walked into the morgue. I spotted the coroner, Burt Fleebish.

"Spayed" he said as he saw Sam "What brings you here?"

"Hey Burt, I need to see a body" said Sam.

"Who doesn't, eh, Sam?" Burt half-joked "Who's the guy?"

"Professor O'Tabby" Sam answered.

"Oh yeah, that guy" said Burt "Nice guy"

"You knew him?" asked Sam.

"Not really" said Burt "My kid attended his class at St. Morris. Really liked him too. Not too big on his lectures on the Boxer Rebellion, though"

I could tell that Burt sorta liked the guy by the way he pulled out the drawer with a stiff. O'Tabby looked like he had just lost a wrestling match with the Maulers of the Midway.

"When's the autopsy scheduled, Burt?" Sam asked Burt.

"What autopsy?" asked Burt.

"His wife said it was murder, Burt" Sam replied.

"Sam, the man died in a car accident" Burt remarked.

Looking down at O'Tabby's remains, I noticed some yellowish-brown coloration on his chest and stomach.

"Hey Burt, you got any explanation for this?" asked Sam.

"Any kind of fluid from a car can create a stain like that" Burt responded.

"Do you have his clothes or any item that he had when he was discovered?" asked Sam.

"Sure" Burt said as he took out a box with O'Tabby's clothes.

I searched through the box looking for anything that suggested murder. Right now, it looked like poor O'Tabby just had a bad break on the mountain. His shirt was about the only thing that was still recognizable. I noticed that the yellowish-brown stains were in the same location on the shirt, as they were on the body. I knew I saw stains like this before, but where? Maybe something would come to me later.

There was a curious little stone on the shirt. It was a very colorful stone on one side; almost as if it was painted.

Just then, the phone had rang. Burt went to answer it. While he left to answer the phone, I put the stone into my pocket. I don't why, I guess I just really like stones.

"Is there anything else you need, Sam?" asked Burt.

Sam replied "A clue, a motivation and a murderer. Goodnight Burt"

"Uh, Sam" said Burt.

"Yeah?" Sam asked.

"It's noon at best" Burt remarked.

It took me an hour to drive to the scene of the accident. I didn't know what I was gonna find there, but I'd at least get a breath of fresh air and I could put the car on the expense account. It seemed I wasn't the only one there.

"Taking a nature walk, Tanya?" Sam asked as he stepped out of his car.

"Sam" Tanya gasped as she saw him "You startled me"

"I was trying to keep my eyes on business, but I noticed the lovely view" Sam told her "One word of advice sweetheart; never return to the scene of the crime"

"I was hoping to find a reason for my husband being here last night" said Tanya.

"What kind of reason?" Sam asked Tanya.

"I don't know" Tanya shook her head "A clue of some sort"

"I'd understand if you were here to cover your tracks" said Sam.

"Are you saying that I murdered my husband?" asked Tanya.

"Nothing personal doll, it's just business" Sam replied.

"Oh, Sam" Tanya whispered as she started sobbing.

I hate it when they do that. I stood there, Tanya's mascara dripping on my wingtips and me an hour from the nearest pot of coffee.

"Come on Tanya" Sam said as he took her hand "Let's find a decent diner"

We arrived at the diner and started to talk about the case.

"So why do you suspect me of murdering my husband?" Tanya asked Sam.

"I suspect everybody, baby" Sam said as he handed her a list "Here's a list of suspects"

"Sam, you're name's on this list" Tanya pointed to a name.

"I don't remember what I did last Friday, Tanya" said Sam "Therefore, I don't have an alibi"

"You must be a very lonely man, Sam Spayed" said Tanya "That's so sad"

"You could fix that Tanya" Sam remarked.

"What're you saying, Sam?" asked Tanya.

"Do I have to spell it out?" asked Sam.

"Go ahead" Tanya responded.

Sam cleared his throat "Y-O-U C-O-U-"

"There's a lot you don't know about me, Sam Spayed" said Tanya.

"Well, you look good and you dress nice" Sam said as he pointed to her.

"But, what if I did murder my husband?" Tanya asked as she twirled her hair "What would you think of me then?"

"I'd wait for you to get out of jail, baby" said Sam "It's not like my calendar's back. After all, how long can a murder sentence be? Thirty, maybe forty years?"

Tanya reached for some sugar.

"I'll get it" said Sam.

We both reached for the sugar at the same time, when we found out that our hands were touching. Tanya gasped silently and walked right out of the diner. The classiest dame had just walked out of my heart, but not out of my case.

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

 **Well, it would seem that Tanya didn't murder Professor O'Tabby. But who did? Looks like Sam will have to investigate some more if he wants to crack this case. Now, let's go back to US Acres and see how Orson's campaign is doing.**


	4. A Shocking Secret is Revealed

Inside of the barn, Orson was checking with Booker and Sheldon to see if his campaign posters were finished.

"Booker! Sheldon" said Orson "How are my posters doing?"

"We finished putting them up, pop" said Booker "Come take a look"

Orson and the chicks went outside of the barn, but instead of seeing posters for Orson, there were posters for Lord Jefferson.

"Booker! What happened to all my posters?" asked Orson "You said you put them up all over the barnyard"

"We did, Orson" said Sheldon "But Lord Jefferson must've covered them up with his own"

"Oh no" Wade stammered "It looks like Lord Jefferson is getting ahead with the rest of the animals"

"Well why don't we see with Bo on how things are going?" suggested Booker.

Orson, Booker, Sheldon and Wade walked over to Bo, who was looking at graphs for the polls.

"Bo, how am I doing in the polls?" Orson asked him.

"Not so good, Orson" Bo said as he showed him the statistics and data "Lord Jefferson is rolling in by 99% and you're doing good by only 1%"

"This is really bad" Wade said in a panicked manner "What are going to do? What are we going to do?"

"We're going to have to hope for the best at the debate tonight" said Orson.

"What's so important about debates, Orson?" asked Bo.

"They are when two candidates make their final speeches before the people vote" Orson explained "They ask a bunch of questions and the candidates each say what they're going to do if elected"

"But Orson, what if Lord Jefferson wins the debate?" asked Wade.

"Yeah" said Booker "This is serious"

Orson breathed in and finally spoke "Then we go to Plan C"

Meanwhile, Lanolin and Roy went back into the cave in the woods to look for what they might have missed. They walked through the damp cave, with the water drops from the stalactites dropping on their heads.

"Boy" Roy said as a drop from a stalactite fell on his head "This cave really is damp"

They walked over to the rock Lord Jefferson was trapped under and noticed something behind it.

"Roy look" Lanolin said as she shone her flashlight at the back of the rock "There's some writing on the back of the rock"

Roy read the writing "Whatever you do, don't lift this rock. This is the worst animal ever. He must stay here. Don't believe us? Look up"

Lanolin and Roy pointed their flashlights to some cave paintings.

Roy gasped "Oh no! It can't be...it's Robert the Terrible!"

"Who's that?" asked Lanolin.

"The worst animal that ever lived on the farm" Roy explained "Many years ago, he ruled with fear and intimidation. Nearly killed the whole animal populace and drove them into slavery. Until the people fought back! According to these paintings, they stopped him, tied him up and put his tail under this rock"

"Oh my god" said Lanolin.

Roy faced Lanolin "So that means Lord Jefferson is..."

"ROBERT THE TERRIBLE!" they both shouted at the same time.

"Come on" said Roy "We've gotta warn everybody"

"No" said a voice from the entrance of the cave "That won't be happening"

It was none other than Lord Jefferson.

"This is my opportunity to dominate the barnyard and I'm not letting anyone steal it from me" he said.

Jefferson then used his cane to cause a boulder to roll right towards the duo and then made a pile of rocks fall and block the entrance to the cave.

"Oh no" Roy screamed "We're trapped! We're never gonna get outta here! I'm getting claustrophobic, the walls are caving in, I never got to see the Eiffel Tower, I-"

"Get a hold of yourself man!" Lanolin said as she slapped Roy upside his beak.

"Thanks" Roy said as he put his beak back in place "I needed that"

"Now come on" Lanolin said as she started to pick up rocks from the entrance "We've gotta get out of here before it's too late"

Meanwhile back on the barnyard, the debate had finally begun. It was just Orson vs. Lord Jefferson.

"Okay everyone" said Bo "Time for the debate. Two of the barnyard's most eligible bachelors are about to make their speeches. Current leader; Orson the Pig"

Orson waved his hand.

"...and of course, Lord Jefferson" Bo finished "Now time for what they have to say. Lord Jefferson, your final words"

"I'll make this nice and short" said Jefferson "When I'm elected as leader, I will build a large wall to keep out all of the riffraff, as well as anybody who tries to question my ways, and I'm going to stop all predators from coming into our barnyard by eliminating them all and I'll be eliminating any free thinkers!"

The whole crowd started to cheer, much to Orson, Bo, Wade and the chicks' dismay.

"Guys! Are you serious?" he asked from his podium "That's terrible! You can't kill other animals! It's unethical and barbaric!"

"Don't listen to the pig" Jefferson smirked "He's just trying to make me look bad"

The crowd started booing at Orson and throwing things at him.

"Stop! Stop!" Orson shouted as he started ducking "Stop!"

"Everybody stop it!" Wade shouted.

Everybody stopped throwing things and started to shut up.

"Thank you, Wade" said Bo "Orson, now please say your final remarks"

Orson whispered to Booker and Sheldon "Where are Roy and Lanolin with the dirt?"

"I don't know Orson" Booker shrugged "They haven't returned"

Orson got nervous and was scared.

"Orson?" Bo asked the nervous hog.

Orson sighed "I don't have many answers. To be honest, I've failed as leader as much as I've succeeded. But I love this farm and all of my friends, and if I'm elected, I will work tirelessly to keep you safe, protect you all from harm and inspire you to live your life to the fullest"

Before anybody could concur or have an epiphany, Lord Jefferson interrupted everything.

"I think we've heard enough" he said "Let's vote"

"NO! NO!" Orson shook his head "There's a few things I'd like to do"

Orson started dancing in a very funny way, so he could stall for time.

"You know" Jefferson said to Orson "If you're waiting for help to arrive, you're dreaming"

"OR NOT!" a voice shouted.

It was none other than Roy and Lanolin, who were both wet and dirty from the rocks and water in the cave.

"Everybody listen" Roy panted as he stopped running "Lord Jefferson, he's none other tha-"

"Let's vote!" Lord Jefferson said as he banged his cane.

"NO!" said Lanolin "Lord Jefferson! He's Robert the Terrible! That cave was his prison and we released him!"

All the animals gasped at the shocking news.

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

 **Now that the animals know the truth about Jefferson, maybe they'll vote for Orson! You'd better pray he will.**

 **Oh and just so you know readers, this US Acres arc is basically my reaction to the 2016 election and how sickened I am by the tone of the campaign. Had to get it off my chest, dude. You can probably guess who Lord Jefferson is supposed to be.**


	5. Professing a Perp

Next on the list was at O'Tabby's office at the university, I was a couple of blocks from the campus, when all of a sudden, I ran into some big goon. He had fists the size of babies. He drug me into the nearby alley and started beating me into next year.

As I lay there on the ground I thought to myself "I must be hot on the trail of something to get a beating from this guy"

I put my jaw back in place and pointed an accusing paw right at the man.

"So, I suppose you have a message for me" said Sam.

"I'm your landlord" said the man "You're two months late for your rent at the Y"

I was still trying to figure out my landlord's involvement with this caper as I walked up the marble steps to the history building. Just then, a middle-aged man came right up to me.

"Are you in charge here?" I asked.

"Yes" said the man "I am Professor Felix of the university. May I help you?"

"I'm Sam Spayed, Private Eye" Sam showed his badge.

"Nice wallet, Mr. Private Eye" said Professor Felix "What brings you here?"

"I'm here to see you about Professor O'Tabby" Sam replied.

"Yes, yes, poor guy" Professor Felix sighed "Must've fallen asleep at the wheel.I really don't know how I can help you, but I'm sure I can invite you in"

He led me right into his office, where we had a nice cup of coffee.

"So, what you like to know Mr. Spayed?" asked Professor Felix.

"Was O'Tabby in any kind of trouble you might know of?" asked Sam.

"Of course not" Professor Felix replied "He was well respected by his students and the staff, maybe you should talk to his wife"

"I already did" Sam replied "She said that you were the last person to see him. Any idea what he was doing up on Old Mountain Road"

"Indeed" Prof. Felix nodded "He was going to visit Maude O'Purr, a university alum"

"Why?" asked Sam.

"Maude is a big contributor to the university" Felix explained "Especially in the history department. Professor O'Tabby called her on that Friday night to help her in any way he could. You see, she's a widow and she prefers to not let people know of her time with the professor"

Of course! It all made sense now! O'Tabby under the guise of helping a benefactress to the university was actually having an affair with a wealthy widow.

"How old is Maude?" asked Sam.

"Ninety three" Professor Felix replied "She's really getting on in years"

"Rats!" Sam slammed his fist.

"Mr. Spayed I didnt mean to insinuate anything by my statement" said Professor Felix "Professor O'Felix had to put a woman's feelings first. He was quite popular with the ladies"

"So you don't think he gave into temptation?" asked Sam.

"Nope" said the professor "His only weakness was coffee, he was rarely without it"

"Can't say that I blame him" said Sam "We all can't live without a good cup of Joe. Thanks for the information, professor and no offense but this coffee tastes horrible"

"Yeah I know" said the professor "Our old coffee girl had left us recently. She made excellent coffee and is going to be hard to top. In fact, I've been forced to take over her duties in addition to my own"

"Work on that coffee, dude" said Sam "I'm getting back to the office"

This seemed like a bit of a lost clause. I mean, so far the only clues I had were a brown stain, some remains bound to be cremated and some weirdos. Not to mention I got some terrible coffee during the process. Still, I mustn't give up. Once a detective has started the case, he must finish.

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

 **It looks like Sam is not giving up just yet. He's going to figure out the O'Tabby case if it's the last thing he does. But let's go back to US Acres and see how the election is going against Orson vs. Lord Jefferson, which is saying a lot.**


	6. A Bad Price to Pay

When we last left our friends at US Acres, they had just figured out the truth about Lord Jefferson; he was really Robert the Terrible. According to legend, he was quite the monster. The other animals were terrified and were going to reconsider their votes, when Robert stepped in.

"Calm down everyone" said Robert "It's all true, I'm Robert the Terrible. I'm not denying it. Now maybe I did murder a few innocent animals, but should I apologize for being strong? Do you want a leader who is book smart and wants things in order? Or do you want a doer? A decider!"

"Yeah" said the other animals in unison.

"So what if he's a monstrously brutal tyrant? He knows what he wants" said a pig.

"But he nearly sent the barnyard into darkness" Lanolin exclaimed, frustrated.

"And never admitted he was wrong" a chicken added "Now that's true leadership"

Orson finally got fed up with this and screamed at the top of his voice "ALRIGHT THAT IS IT!"

He went up to make the final votes.

"Do you want Orson, who just wants everyone to be happy and safe?" Orson asked in frustration.

Roy, Wade, Lanolin, Bo, Booker and Sheldon raised their hands.

"Or do you want a leader who wants to plunge the barnyard into darkness and literally has the word 'Terrible' in his name?!" Orson pointed to Robert.

Everybody else raised their hands.

"Majority rules" Orson gasped.

"Heh, heh, heh" Robert cackled "At last...the barnyard is mine! MWAH HA HA HA HA!"

All of a sudden, lightning struck as Robert gloated over his victory and the other animals were frightened, realizing their mistake too late. e

Robert pointed to the animals "I want to look to animal to your left, then to your right. I guarantee you that by next week, one of you will be dead!"

Booker and Sheldon gasped and clinged onto Orson's leg in fear.

"The farm is gonna burn, the weak will perish and all will bow down before me...SUCKERS!" Robert sadistically grinned "And as you know, Orson, a deal is a deal! Get him boys!"

Robert snapped his fingers and all of a sudden, two bulldogs came up to Orson and grabbed him by the arms.

"ORSON!" Wade shouted.

The bulldogs threw Orson into a crate and onto a delivery truck, conveniently heading somewhere in town and it drove off down the road.

"Put him down!" Booker and Sheldon said as they walked over to save their adoptive father "You mess with him, you mess with us!"

"Boys, no" Lanolin picked up the chicks "It's too dangerous"

Booker looked like he was about to cry "But what about Orson..."

"There's nothing we can do about it" said Lanolin.

"So long, Orson" Robert gloated "Now for a brand new era!"

Robert snapped his fingers and more scary dogs appeared, surrounding all of the animals.

Robert had taken over the barnyard and his reign of tyranny was starting once again. Animals were locked in cages and only were allowed to get out to work on gardening, pruning and weeding or to do some other kind of backbreaking hard labor. Everyone was miserable now that Robert was now the head honcho again and things only got worse; anybody who dared to stand up to him was thrown into dens with hungry predators or spending their nights in the cold cellar with no insulation whatsoever, pleading at their mercy. Something had to be done.

Later that night, Wade snuck out of his cage and went down to the shed and quietly knocked at the door.

"What's the word?" whispered someone inside.

"Down with Jefferson" Wade whispered.

He went inside and saw Bo, Roy, Lanolin, Booker, Blue, Cody and Sheldon all gathered up for a meeting with the resistance.

"Okay everyone" said Lanolin "I call this meeting to order!"

"Right" everyone saluted.

Lanolin paced around in seriousness "Now as you all know, Orson is gone and we must stop Robert from bringing into more darkness! He's made us do backbreaking and dangerous labor...put Cody in buns..."

"I can still feel the bread, I can still feel the bread!" Cody screamed.

Blue tried to comfort Cody "There, there..."

"And hit us when we spoke up!" Lanolin added.

"It still hurts" Roy tried to rub his backside.

"We are going to put an end to Robert's tyranny once and for all" said Lanolin "But first we need to get Orson back!"

"Yeah!" said the other animals.

"But like, how are we gonna do that, sis?" asked Bo.

"It's simple Bo" said Lanolin "We are going to send a rescue party to find out where Orson could've gone and we're going to get him back!"

"Perfect" said Wade "Who's going to rescue him?"

"You, Wade!" said Lanolin "And Roy and Bo will go as well!"

"But I've never left the farm before" Wade said nervously "And what if we don't find Orson? What if Robert finds us? What if predators eat us?"

"Wade, if there was ever a time to be risky and be brave, it's now!" said Roy "We've got to find Orson and save the farm!"

"Like, far out man!" Bo exclaimed "Come on, Ducko! Let's go on our rescue"

Wade thought for a while and thought about his friend Orson and where he could've been. Finally, he came to a choice.

"Okay" said Wade "I'm going to save my pal Orson!"

"That's the spirit, Wade!" Bo playfully punched Wade in the arm.

"But I hope you've found a way for us to get to Orson, Lanolin" said Roy "We can't go on that dirt road on foot"

"Glad you asked that, Roy" said Lanolin "Because here's someone who can help!"

Lanolin whistled and came a gray donkey with a black mane.

"A horse? Never seen him before" Booker remarked.

"My name is Hector" said the donkey "I used to pull carts for a miner, but then I was separated from him and ended up here on the farm. Since then, I've been trying to find adventure and some way I can fit in"

"Perfect" said Roy "We'll ride you to help us find our friend, Orson"

"Oh goody" Hector said as he clapped his hooves.

Roy, Wade and Bo jumped onto Hector and were ready to go on their mission to find Orson and bring him back home. Lanolin, Booker, Sheldon, Blue and Cody watched as they saw the four ride off into the moonlight on the dirt road as they went to start their rescue mission.

"Good luck, guys" said Lanolin "You're gonna need it"

"Are they really gonna find Orson, Lanolin?" asked Booker "I mean, we can't live without him and that horrible Collie took him away from us!"

"Don't worry boys" Lanolin cradled the chicks into her arms "I know Orson is alive and out there somewhere and I know your uncles will find him. He can take our farm, he can take our homes, but he can never take one of our own!"

 **TO BE CONTINUED...**

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

 **A large price to pay for voting for the wrong person. Now, Robert has taken over the barnyard and is plunging it into darkness. Now, it's up to Roy, Wade, Bo and their new friend Hector to rescue Orson and end Jefferson's reign of tyranny. But will they find Orson? And where did Orson go? Find out in the next story. In the meantime, let's get back to the Sam Spayed mystery.**


	7. The Murder is Moved

By the time I arrived back at the office, the phone company jus installed my brand new rotary telephone. Kitty was in the other room.

"No calls yet, Sam" said Kitty "How's about a cup of coffee?"

"You know it, babe" said Sam "Hey Kitty! Do we have Tanya's phone number?"

"Klondike 51234, Sam" Kitty replied.

"Thanks" Sam said as he started to dial the number.

The girl may not be the best office cleaner, but she's got an awesome memory. Wasting no time, I dialed Tanya's phone number. It's so easy to remember, sure wish I could've remembered it.

"Hello Tanya? Sam Spayed here" Sam spoke into the phone.

"Oh hello, Mr. Spayed" said Tanya "What did you find out about the murder?"

"I stopped by your husband's office and found out some information on him" said Sam.

"Who did you talk to?" asked Tanya, over the phone.

"A guys named Professor Felix" said Sam "He said he was O'Tabby's assistant"

"We never really thought of him as an assistant, Sam" said Tanya "He worked as hard as my husband and with the students. He's been with the university for decades. In fact, he was my husband's mentor"

At that same time, Kitty arrived carrying a tray of coffee with her as me and Tanya were conversing on the phone.

"Anyways, the professor said that your husband might've been involved with another woman" said Sam.

Kitty then gasped and dropped the tray of coffee, which landed right on my chest and boy was it burning hot.

"Sam" she gasped "I'm so sorry"

Just then, I heard Tanya on the phone asking if I was okay, so I picked up the phone and answered it.

"Listen Tanya, I'm going to have to call you back" said Sam "I have some pressing business to attend to"

"Sam, I am so sorry" said Tanya "I didn't know what was going through my mind"

"That's okay Kitty, we'll have maintenance clean this place up" said Sam "Tell them we need a mop and bucket, I'll pick up the pieces of the mug"

Man, that coffee was hot enough to make my surname more aptly. I walked into the bathroom to clean up and noticed a huge coffee stain covering up my shirt. Wait a minute, that's it! O'Tabby had coffee stains on his shirt, but why? Where did the coffee come from?

I searched my jacket pocket for the colorful stone I found earlier and examined it carefully; it was painted alright. That's because it was no stone, it was a piece of ceramic, which is what coffee mugs are made from. So O'Tabby must've been drinking coffee during the time of the accident. That wasn't enough information though, I needed more clues besides a cup of Joe.

Why would a man be drinking coffee while he was driving? And how would coffee be connected to a murder? And what was keeping Kitty from coming back?

I searched for Tanya's phone number to apologize for the interruption, but I couldn't find it at all. Wait a minute, Tanya never gave me a phone number. But somehow, Kitty knew the number. Kitty would know the number if Tanya's husband gave it to her. Could she have been sweet on the professor? Of course! She spilled the coffee when I mentioned Professor O'Tabby's women issues and she makes a mean cup of coffee. Which is the description for the same girl that recently left from the university, which was the same day I hired Kitty. A girl that was infatuated with a man she could never have. So what does she do? Of course! She deliberately spills coffee on his lap, ties him into his car and does away with him the first chance she gets. Wait a minute...

"Maintenance is here, Sam" said Kitty.

While the janitor arrived inside the office, I went to confront Kitty about her little problem.

"I know you murdered Professor O'Tabby, Kitty" said Sam.

"Sam, what are you talking about?" asked Kitty.

"Don't play coy with me, missy" said Sam "You loved the professor and when you couldn't have him, no one could!"

"Yes" Kitty bursted into tears "I loved him so much, but he never loved me. I couldn't have him, so I...I...I left!"

"You left?" asked Sam.

"The thought of being at the university reminded me too much of my broken heart, so I quit" Kitty said through her tears "But I didn't murder him"

The tears were streaming down her face like rain on a pine tree.

"But, what about the coffee stains and the ceramic cup?" Sam asked as he handed Kitty the mug piece.

Kitty examined it "He always drank from his favorite mug, Sam. I don't know how it could've gotten smashed to pieces"

I had just ran out of suspects.

"Kitty, did you have any duties besides being the office's coffee girl?" asked Sam.

"I was Professor O'Tabby's girl Friday" said Kitty "I sorted his mail, kept his appointment calendar sorted, filled out his prescriptions, sharpened his pencils..."

"Wait a minute" Sam interrupted "What was that about filling out his prescriptions?"

"Professor O'Tabby was an insomniac" said Kitty "He needed very potent sleeping pills to help him doze off at night. I remember him bragging about those pills. He took two of them to put him to sleep and that took an hour. But they could knock out a bull elephant"

"Kitty, help maintenance pick up the office" said Sam "I've gotta go catch a murderer. I now know whodunit"

I found Professor O'Felix in the university chapel, praying to God beside the stain glass.

"Asking for forgiveness, professor?" asked Sam.

"For what it's worth, Mr. Spayed, I had nothing to lose" O'Felix sniffled.

"Let's go" Sam said bluntly.

By the time the paperwork had been done it was 8 pm. Lt. Washington was his usual self as Professor O'Felix was being booked. It had been a long day and I figured I'd better head back to Kitty. She was pretty shaken up by the time I left the building. When I got back to the office I saw Tanya O'Tabby sobbing like a baby. I walked up to her and put her in my arms. She didn't say anything, I already knew what she was thinking.

"One thing I still don't get; why were you following me?" asked Sam.

"I wanted to make sure you were on the right track, Sam" said Tanya "I knew a sharp guy like you could only solve this mystery. Why don't you cut the tough guy act and give me a smile for once?"

"How's this?" Sam asked as he made a deadpan look.

"That's more like it" said Tanya.

"Now let's talk about you and me, baby" Sam deadpanned.

"It wouldn't work out, Sam" said Tanya "We're different"

"I know" Sam smirked.

"Let's just face it Sam, maybe an alternate universe we would've had something, you and I" said Tanya "But let's face it, we're just too different"

"I suppose you're right, Tanya" said Sam "You're a sophisticated lady and I'm a working stiff"

"I like caviar and you like hot dogs" Tanya added.

"Yeah" Sam nodded.

"I'm refined and you're a slob" Tanya continued.

"Okay" Sam said, getting annoyed.

"I fly first class and you're coach" Tanya continued.

"I get it, Tanya" said Sam.

"But you're still all man, Sam" Tanya said as she picked Sam up "I wish it could've worked out between us"

"I'll never forget you Tanya" Sam said as he hugged Tanya.

"Goodbye Sam" Tanya said as she slipped a piece of paper into his jacket and left.

I watched that beautiful woman take her leave into the night, possibly never to see her again.

"She called after you left, I told her you were going to nab the murderer" said Kitty "She came right away"

I didn't answer. My mind was still in the arms of a classy babe. All I know is that there had better be a check in that envelope.

"Sam, how did you Felix was the killer?" asked Kitty.

"It's quite simple" Sam began to explain "O'Tabby had to have left directly from the campus to call on Maudy O'Purr that night because he was drinking out of his favorite mug when the crash occurred. Professor O'Felix the substitute girl Friday, fixed that cup of coffee. Felix filled out Tabby's prescription for sleeping pills and popped a couple into his coffee, knowing how long it would tale to get to Old Mountain Road forty miles away and one hour. Like clockwork, the pills took effect and O'Tabby drove off the cliff, leading to his demise. The police were right; he did fall asleep at the wheel"

"Wow" said Kitty "That's scary, yet very complex"

"The motive is obvious, Kitty" said Sam "The old power struggle in the life of careers. Old man gets succeeded by younger man. Young man gets power, respect, glory and the old man gets older, envious and bitter. Finally, the old man plots to do away with the young man, out of desperation. With O'Tabby gone, O'Felix could retain his career"

"Sam, you're just too much" Kitty said as she poured a bottle of milk and let her hair down.

"What's the milk for Kitty?" Sam asked as he joined Kitty on the couch, who crossed her legs.

"You ask too many questions, Sam" Kitty said flirtatiously.

Kitty had picked me up, took off my hat and well, the rest as they sat is history.

 **THE END**

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

 **It looks like the mystery has been solved at last folks. Now that we've helped Sam Spayed solve the mystery of O'Tabby, let's get back to the real world and see what Garfield is up to!**

 **Stay tuned for our next story, coming real soon.**


End file.
